Saturday, 18 October 2014

Your Cat Can’t Accept Your Writing Career

The situation: cat sits on keyboard at every opportunity.

You feel: frustration; sadness; disappointment.

Cats can have an attitude problem at the best of times. They like to know that they’re in charge – top cat, if you like. Therefore, it can be very difficult for a cat to accept that his or her human is a totally splendid hotshot author.

A jealous cat will sit on keyboards, trample on printouts and claw an author’s favourite writing chair. However, as these activities are common in felines, it might be difficult to tell whether yours is truly a jealous cat or just a cat. Ask your vet to advise you on how to determine whether or not your cat is jealous of your writing career.

Should, God forbid, you discover that your cat is harbouring resentment, then you need to let your cat believe that he or she is a better writer than you. This can be achieved by letting your cat trample on your keyboard and printing the results. Have your cat’s story ‘asbhsghasjsadhjkjjjjjjjjjjjjj’ framed and mounted on the wall beside your cat’s feeding station.

To make your cat feel extra important, drop quotes from his or her work into conversation. If timed correctly, “sdhjsdhjsd hash­hkj dddddd dddddddd” can sound very profound. Likewise, a little comic timing will have guests in stitches when you regurgitate “klkliiouoiuiooooo”.

No comments:

Post a comment