Monday 22 September 2014

Your Baby-Spamming Friend Moans About You Promoting Your Book

The situation: sarcastic remark beneath your latest cover upload.

You feel: annoyance; self-reflection.

You once had a good, attentive friend you enjoyed spending time with. Now, you’ve got a baby-obsessed monster with no appreciation that the world doesn’t revolve around her little pug-nosed goblin. Every day she uploads dozens of photos of her darling child: goblin eating baked beans, goblin eating baked beans with head rotated by five degrees, and so forth. Yet the second you upload a cover for your new book, she responds with, ‘I’m sorry, is this another book advert?’

Imagine her horror if you had been so disparaging about her darling child.

You’ve mentioned your new book three times during its launch week; she uploads baby-related matter at an average speed of three times per hour. When she’s not waffling on about her baby, it’s her husband. ‘I have the sexiest hubbie in the world!’ If that’s true then why is she on Facebook posting about him and not in bed enjoying his prowess?

Do not respond by telling your friend that her baby looks like a cabbage patch doll, unless you want her to never speak to you again. Do not stop telling your friends about your books just because one person has a problem with it.

You are trying to sell a product that may interest many of your friends. It’s not a mortgage, or tiaras or obscure pieces of computer equipment; you’re selling a book. More importantly, you need to sell copies to earn a living.

Your friend does not need to sell her baby. She does not need to market her husband. Her family is something she has regardless of whether or not the rest of the world think they’re amazing. Whereas you need to promote your books in order to pay the rent.

Provided that you write interesting, varied and engaging Facebook posts most of the time, there’s no harm mentioning your book occasionally. The same can be said for offspring.

Additional Blog-Exclusive Advice

Chris Bailey

We all have that one person who constantly uploads pictures of literally everything. “Here’s the dustbin looking lonely.” “Here’s my tea made by my gorgeous girlfriend.” If my gorgeous girlfriend made me tea, I’d be scoffing it down before it went cold, not taking a photo of it.

You will try your best to limit your posts on your chosen social networking site, but there will always be those people that are so self-absorbed, that they genuinely believe you’re the one spamming them, despite their constant sharing of pictures of a horse or philosophical quotes when you know damn well they don’t have a philosophy degree!

You may feel the urge to hunt this person down for making an unpleasant remark. Don’t do that; simply ignore him/her and move on. It is a constant struggle promoting your work. I would suggest, make a start on creating a network of like-minded people. Work on projects together and reap the rewards of the exposure it brings.

By Jan Hurst-Nicholson

I have come up with a wonderful strategy for when friends produce pictures of their offspring or grandchildren. I now keep copies of my book covers in my bag. I whip them out and explain, “This is my first, now three-years-old and sold 17,000 copies and 52 reviews. This is my second ....” And finally, “This is my newborn. Less than a week old and with two reviews.”

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